The HomeGrown Mom

I'm sure you've heard the saying before, "if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."  Does that saying ring true in your home?  Moms tend to be viewed as the heart of the home.  They are the home-makers, even if they work outside the home.  They are the ones who keep up on schedules, see to household duties, the first one kids run to when they are hurt or need comfort.  So, it makes sense.  If the heart of the home isn't happy that sets the tone for the entire house. 

I'll be the first to admit that I have been upset about that very fact, more than just a time or two.  I think, "they can choose to be happy regardless" or "it shouldn't be ALL up to me."  Even though these statements are true, it's also true that if I'm happy (or unhappy), it reflects on the entire household.

Lately I've been continuing my education on how the mind works.  I have been doing little things for my own mental health, taped some reminders on the bathroom mirror, and made more of a conscious effort to choose happiness throughout the day.  Guess what?  Little by little it's rubbing off on my family.  My husband has even made little side comments here and there that let me know he is also reading the reminders on the bathroom mirror.  My youngest even made a comment about choosing to feel how he was feeling (also something I have been talking about around the house).  

Even though we have a ways to go for us to all choose happiness and joy in all things (Philippians 4:11), we are making progress. Why?  Because I, mom, the heart of the home, made a decision to work on my mindset.  And you know what?  Since we have a fairly open family and I read bits of the book, posted reminders on the mirror, or simply made a statement out loud about a conscious effort, my whole family is benefiting and it's starting to show.

I want to leave you with a verse to meditate on, one that can help you be sure you are focused on the good things in life:

It's that time of year again when things are in full bloom.  Though it can be beautiful to see the new life after a cold winter, it can also reek havoc on our bodies.  Seasonal allergies can get the best of us all.  It's no fun.  Eyes are itchy and watery, noses run and at the same time are stuffy, we are extra tired, have a hard time breathing, the list goes on.

A few years ago I was that person who took over the counter meds because if I didn't, I was feeling miserable. But I also felt groggy from taking the meds, which I didn't like.  I just didn't know there was another way.

Then, one day after my daughter had been in for an allergy test, a family friend introduced us to the power of God's creation.  We were invited to a class that opened up our eyes to the beauty of what one drop of pure essential oils could do.  You see, we had dabbled in essential oils before, the kind you buy at any ole store.  Guess what, I wasn't impressed.  They didn't quite meet up to what I knew they should be able to do.  However, once I learned the difference between purity, planting, harvesting, distilling (read more about that here)...the works, I knew that what we were just introduced to was so much better!

Long story short, we purchased what we needed and instantly were amazed.  I actually didn't realize how much better we were feeling until we ran out of the essential oils.  We noticed a difference that first day we were without them.  This was after just ONE week of using them...and already a night and day difference.  So, I quickly ordered more and vowed to NEVER run out of these 3 amazing essential oils again.  Seven years later and they are still staples in our household. 

Now that you have a little bit of a back story, let me introduce you to the three essential oils that made me a full believer in quality grown, harvested, and distilled plants in nature.  Lemon, Lavender, and Peppermint.  That's the "magic" trio for my family.  Lemon helps us so much with that nasty mucous buildup we get.  We like to put a drop of lemon in our water (yummy!) or combine it in a vegetable capsule with equal amounts of lavender and peppermint. Why lavender?  We soon learned that it has natural qualities of an antihistamine.  So, we use it to help dry things up.  And peppermint, wow...it has done such wonders in opening up our noses.  One big whiff and we are breathing more freely!

Before you go too far down the trail of why we should not use these essential oils internally, let me tell you that we have a Vitality line that is approved for ingestion.  Yep, our essential oils are THAT pure!  So, 3 drops of lemon, lavender, and peppermint in a capsule when the world is in bloom all around us, and we are able to enjoy nature again!

To learn more about the essential oils we use, click here or reach out to me via email or social media. I love having oily chats!!

At Lavender & Coffee, we love making custom mugs!  Not only does it give us new items to present to our customers, it also gives us a glimpse into what matters to others.  Custom mugs have a very personal meaning to the one who has them created.  And knowing that we have a part in turning that special meaning into a visual is pretty amazing.

Here's the story behind our rainbow lighthouse mug.  The two rainbows represent the two miscarriages she had.  The lighthouse represents a magnet she bought after her first miscarriage, after she found out she was pregnant again.  She had the ultrasound to see the heartbeat and found the magnet in a gift shop.  It had Psalm 18:28 on it.  She bought it as a reminder that God turns darkness into light.  She was excited and glorifying God's name that she was expecting again.  

Soon after, while at work (working in the ICU), she was about 8 weeks pregnant and felt a lot of cramping.  She was checked out in the ER and was sent home by the other nurses.  She was in disbelief that this was happening again.  As she was home that night, she felt the miscarriage happening and felt as if God was asking her "do you trust me?"  While in the shower, suffering the miscarriage, she was crying out to God and making the decision to surrender and trust God.  She chose to trust that HE knew best and that he loved her and those babies.

This mug, with the scripture, lighthouse, and double rainbow, represents God's faithfulness. He turns our struggles, our darkness, into light.  Today she has 2 healthy boys and knows that God has provided.  Every time she sees this mug, it is a great reminder that God cares for us.

To purchase this mug, check out Lavender & Coffee!

Do you have a story you would like to tell through a beautiful mug?  Contact us here for custom mug requests.

I get so tired of people thinking you don't have problems just because they aren't visible.  If you don't take medications, choose to control it naturally, and learn to work through it...it must not be real.  I've been told before that I was making it up, that I had no problems.  

Anxiety is real.  You don't have to see it.  You don't have to know the person has it.  No, I don't take medication for it.  Been there, done that.  It didn't help.  It made me a shell of a person.  It didn't get rid of it.  It didn't make me feel any better.

It took some trial and error, but I found ways of taking care of myself naturally.  I also found ways to avoid situations that will make things worse.  There are still times I want to curl up into a ball and just hide away.  There are other times where I give myself a pep talk and work through it.  I show up.  I do what needs done.  I come home and I have my quiet time.  I cope.  

So, what others see is that I get out.  I socialize when I need to.  I am in crowds and appear to be your average person.  Because I choose to fight through it and not give in to this unseen illness, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

If you had seen me several years ago, you'd know I've come a long ways in handling this.  There are times, due to my anxiety, that words I say don't come out right.  Therefore, I'm taken wrong and what I intend to say is taken as a complete opposite.  I may mean to be encouraging and try to show interest, but my anxiety gets the best of me and I may say just one word that is "out of character" for me and then the whole situation is take negative instead.  If you know me, you understand that my intentions are always good-hearted.  If I come across otherwise, my hope is that you understand that I was having a bad day and it came across wrong.  There are times this has happened and my sincere apologies and assurances that I meant well were not accepted...Again, this is just another case of me "not having problems" because I DO work through them.  I'm not perfect. I still make mistakes.  I sometimes don't listen to that inner voice that tells me "don't approach".  I push it down thinking it's just anxiety.  I tell myself I'm in a safe place and I work through it.  Most of the time this works.  Other times it's taken the wrong way and then I kick myself wishing I had given in to my anxious thoughts and just kept on walking instead of approaching.  

This is anxiety.  It's a real thing whether you know it exists or not.  Just because someone doesn't show the signs you think they should show for it, doesn't mean it isn't real.  We all handle things differently.  Just because I choose to not give in doesn't make it not real.  If you only knew what it takes for me to simply show up, then maybe you'd be willing to give me a bit of credit when the words I say come across wrong.

Raising kids is hard work, letting them spread their wings and fly is sometimes even harder!  I've been a stay at home mom for 18+ years.  Though my kids started out in public school, we have homeschooled for the past 6 years.

Now, here I am with my oldest about to graduate from high school.  I've been home with him from day one.  That's a lot of time together!  Some may think that after all of these years, 3 kids, homeschooling, and not working outside of the home that I would be looking forward to a break.  That's far from true!  I thought I would be easing into the letting go process, and in a way I have.  Kaehlen (my senior) started Vo-Tech this year, which has him away from home for a few hours every day Mon-Fri.  But then, not long after my daughter turned 16, she decided to get a job.  It just so happens that she and Kaehlen decided this at the same time.  So, all of a sudden, I was having to adjust to not just one, but two kids working away from home.  This may not seem like a big deal.  But let me tell ya, it was a struggle!  

Suddenly adjusting to just one kids at home was interesting.  Even though my kids don't do a ton together things were a bit more quiet.  Just the idea of my youngest being the only one home was enough to make him feel more lonely.  Then there was the whole cooking for three instead of five bit.  You'd think that would have made things easier, but with our special dietary needs it really didn't.  I was left with one with very specific needs, one who can make due as long as it's not all the time, and one who is very picky and has a hard time with certain meats.  

Let's just say that life continues to be interesting and ever changing.  These changes help me to cherish the moments we have to sit at the dinner table as a family even more, even if that is just once a week.  And those family nights we used to have on Friday's...well, those are becoming less and less (at least with all 5 of us), which means we do what we can with whoever happens to be home and enjoy the moments we have together.

I've always heard it said that time goes fast and before you know it your kids will be leaving home.  Yep, that's true for sure!  The other day I was watching one tired pregnant momma chase a little toddler around and I thought, "that seems like just yesterday!"  Yes, time certainly flies by.

I've said for a long time that I won't be a good empty-nester.  Though I have a ways to go for that to happen...I'm still thinking it's going to be true. lol With that being said, I just want all you mommas to know that I get you.  I'm here to help support you along the way.  If you'd like to join a support group of other moms working together on this journey, please check out this free group and let me know how I can help.